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Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Lessons learned in the race of life...

It started out during the fall session of Girls On The Run.  I was the new head coach at Mill Middle School in Williamsville, and I couldn't find a committed assistant.  As fate would have it, an awesome woman - a marathon runner named Jenna - called the council.  She was in between jobs and sitting at home with nothing to do.  She wanted to help GOTR out in some way.  I was the lone coach whose assistant had just quit.

Jenna and I clicked pretty quickly.  She became more than an assistant coach, but a good friend.  I became turned on to the idea of marathon training and asked for her help and advice.  I had only run one 5k race that year and wasn't training at all.  I'd put on a lot of weight and just needed a new goal.  Why not a marathon?  I went to my orthopedic surgeon and told him my plans.  He was supportive - even though my knee was likely damaged and arthritic.  During the past 6 months I had a lot of ups and downs, bowed out of family gatherings, I completely let the house go and barely made any decent meals.  I grabbed fast food  many evenings and crashed on the couch after evening workouts.

Though I didn't even make it to the starting line of the Buffalo Marathon, the past 6 months have been quite a journey.  I pushed my body harder than ever.  My legs carried me longer distances than they'd ever traveled and I was changing as a person in the process.  My belly fat melted away without my even realizing it.  I am under 110 lbs again - a healthy 108.  My energy levels and sleep patterns have improved.  I used the meditation time during my long runs to sort out different problems in my life.  I felt good about myself for the first time in a long time.  I certainly tested my husband's patience - his support meant the world to me.

I am sorting out my priorities in life.  I'm identifying my strengths and weaknesses.  I know where I need to make some major improvements.  Life is going to be good... it is good... there's much more to it than running... there's friends, family, and of course my musical abilities that have gone to waste. Though I do want to run and race again, I need to focus on the more important things...

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Feeling Defeated

There comes a time when you need to just give up.  The "I'm injured/I'm better" rollercoaster ride finally came to a screeching halt with "I'm VERY injured."  Nearly 6 months of training and hundreds of miles and dollars later, I am facing a tough reality.   I am not going to be able to run the Buffalo Marathon this weekend.  I will be lucky if I can walk up the stairs when I get home.

I don't know exactly what's wrong.  I know I have a bad knee, but the entire outside of my leg is in a painful, massive knot.  I strained something while trying to stretch my illiotibial band last week.  I thought rest and ice would help it.  Not so much.  I can barely bend my knee and bearing any weight on my leg causes extreme pain on the entire side of my upper leg and into my hip.  It's completely in spasm.

My mom did some damage control on Facebook in regards to Dystance4Dystonia.  This morning, The DMRF posted that I was running the marathon this weekend and encouraged people to donate in my honor.  I'd shot the DMRF an e-mail last night about my situation, but apparently it wasn't soon enough.  My mom wrote something on my behalf to express my gratitude as well as my most sincere apologies for getting hurt.  I took on Twitter, and in 140 words or less tried to explain I was injured and very sorry that I wouldn't be running.

Of course the DMRF was understanding but...  

I know it's not entirely my fault, but I feel like an idiot.  I am the type of person who follows through on commitments, and I didn't on this one.  I tried so hard.  I even got that 20 mile run in less than 3 weeks ago.  When my Garmin beeped at 20 miles, it was such an awesome feeling and sense of accomplishment.  I could only imagine how much better completing my first marathon was going to be... and for a cause I believed in... and now...   

I called my orthopedic surgeon's office this morning.  I can get in to see his physician's assistant next Wednesday.  Meanwhile, I am in excruciating pain.  Ibuprofen is not helping at all.  I'm at work, eating lunch and just cannot think straight.

This feels significantly worse than the 6 hours of brain surgery I went through.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

"Got Toenails?" and other running ailments...

The Buffalo Marathon is only 3 weeks away and I'm dealing with some nasty ailments.  The most discouraging point in my training so far occurred this past Sunday when I couldn't finish my 20 mile run.  My knee was killing me and I had to walk 3 miles home.  I wanted to cry.   This ailment is nothing new, but it seems to have become worse over the past 2 years.  I can't even seem to get it to "pop" into place anymore.  At my wits end, I decided to stop by Eastern Mountain Sports on my way home from work and buy some KT Tape to use underneath my knee brace while I run.  I bought the new Pro version and I really like it.  It seemed to really help during my 6-miler today, and now I'm just using the tape for general stability as well.  I'm worried about my knee in general, but hoping this will get me through the end of the month.

I know that this isn't uncommon in marathoners, but I'm dealing with losing my toenails and ingrown toenails. I have a black toenail and one toenail that's completely gone.  My big toe on the left has undergone some "bathroom surgery" to remove a huge chunk of nail, but it's healing up decently.  Overall, my feet problems are nasty.  My left foot also has a pretty gross blister...

In any event, I'm still plugging away at my training.  The thought of possibly not being able to run anymore due to this knee thing is killing me.  Nate is worried.  Frankly, I am too.  It's such a huge part of who I am...  I need this...

Endomondo Running Workout: Nicole was out running 6.21 miles in 49m:04s using Endomondo.