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Friday, January 1, 2016

Changing my life and my story today...

If I were to start writing my story today, what would I write?  What have I done with my life?  What will I do with my life? What should I be doing with it?

The past two years have been a roller coaster ride.  I decided on December 31, 2015, I was going to make a change.  Every day is going to be meaningful for me in some way, shape or form.

I will not be a competitive distance runner, though I can jog a bit right now.  I can no longer sprint or pivot. I am accepting this with grace. This is a decision.

I have chronic lower back pain.  I'm a physically disabled Aspie.  Being neurodiverse can be a gift and by sticking close to my faith, I will strive to be positive in the world; not for me, but for others.

Everyday is going to be a movement forward.  I may stumble or stagger, I may trip and fall, but every day I will do something, learn something, say something or create something positive regardless of the bad things in my life and in the world.  Some days I may literally not be able to walk, but it's how I handle my suffering that will help change who I am.  Every day will be a new day with a clean slate, and I have to always be able to roll with the punches.

Today I researched supplements and vitamins to help both dystonia and ASD.  I biked and did a 30 minute treadmill workout. I heated up some frozen homemade chicken soup for me and my husband.   I've done more today than I have in a while.  It's a physical and mental struggle.  Life isn't easy, but I cannot give up.

I intend to write every day, even if just a few sentences.  I need to live the life planned out for me and choose to be more positive.  I have a list of about 10 things I want to do to change myself and the world.  To change it with a message of love.

This won't be easy... but I need to try.

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