Celebrating New Beginnings and pursuing new and old interests

The past few days have been exceptionally busy and I have needed some serious down time.  I am tired and wired at the same time, which is a weird combination.  But I do need sleep. 

As depicted in item to the left, we had a wedding to attend last Saturday.  My cousin Julie tied the knot.  I honestly could not wait to wear this dress!  My little sister was concerned it wasn't quite age appropriate...      

The wedding ceremony was beautiful.  Julie hired the same vocalist that Nate and I used at our church.  He's like Josh Groban, only better. The reception was pretty good as well, even though I shouldn't have been dancing.  Now, my cousin has most of the movie Mrs. Doubtfire memorized.  Since she seemed to have the DJ playing a lot of modern rap mixed with some slow country I had this crazy idea.  I requested House of Payne's Jump Around.  I mean, the only other Mrs. Doubtfire alternative would have been Dude Looks Like a Lady, which I'm pretty sure wouldn't fly at a wedding. So... there was a lot of jumping.  Did I mention I'm having knee surgery sometime this summer? 

Today I turned 30 years old. Last night I went to Duff's with my cousin Steve.  We met my husband there after he wrapped up his Bazillian Jiu Jitsu class at the training center.  My sister was waitressing, which was cool.  Pretty wired, we called it quits and went home around 9:00.  Nate and I stayed in and watched some TV for the rest of the evening.  I didn't sleep well...

This morning I was woken to my husband bearing gifts.  I first opened two Ben Folds CDs.  Then I was presented with what appeared to be an 8x10 framed picture... when I opened it, it was a picture of Micky Dolenz, autographed and personalized to me!  I had to laugh.  I loved The Monkees and was really surprised by this.  It's the first celebrity picture I have that's autographed and personalized to me!   

We decided to head out to the Original House of Pancakes in Williamsville.  I got a blueberry waffle and Nate got a strawberry crepe.  Then my grandparents walked in.  We motioned for them to come over and join us.

I also did something huge today, given how frugal I am.  Nate and I went to this little music shop in Niagara Falls.  Twelve years ago, for just a year, I picked up my 5th instrument to play in the high school Wind Symphony my senior year.  I didn't get very far in only a year, but I learned to appreciate how cool it could be.  The thing is, I just never got back into it...  but...

I BOUGHT A BASSOON!  The owner thew in a couple of reeds and a beginner's lesson book when I told him my story, mentioned it was my birthday and how I really wanted to learn this instrument to the best of my ability.  I have only completed a couple of lessons, but... here we are!  I need to name her... hmmm...  

I am going to get my pro-model alto saxophone fixed up there when I have the time to drive it out there.  Nate will be able to pick it up on his way home from work during the week.

On the topic of music, I have been very happy slowly getting back into it.  I've been running some very basic scales on my keyboard and have been playing some old tunes just for fun.  This is going to take a lot of time and patience, but I am trying to learn some Ben Folds stuff.  I really shouldn't be surprised that it's a bit difficult.  As much as  wanted to jump into Philosophy... I made it through two measures and realized I wasn't anywhere near that level.

I flipped though the book and decided that Brick would be easy to learn.  Honestly, it's almost too easy... but I haven't played it perfectly yet.  Music makes me feel alive... it's not running, but it's something productive that makes me happy.  I just cannot come home every day feeling sorry for myself...

This evening my mom had us over for a lovely dinner and dessert.  I don't like cake much, so she made this strawberry thing.  She made me a beautiful book of my first 30 years of life on mixbook.com.  I absolutely love it.  My sister got me a Duff's t-shirt and gift card.  My grandparents got my a Tim Horton's mug with a Lebro's gift card.  My grandmother gave me a dollar for each year of my life!  My closest cousin, Steve came and joined us too!  It really just made my evening...   

In any event, I am so excited that I likely will not sleep tonight.  But today is a day I will remember forever.  Life isn't perfect, but it's good.   I truly believe that every time God closes one door, another is opened... I just have to be open to running through it... even if I can't run anymore...

  

The Challenge of Living a Balanced Life with Dystonia

The past few weeks have been brutal.  Since I blew my knee out last month while marathon training, I've been living a very sedentary lifestyle.  Slowly, I have been building up my energy level and boosting my mood by trying to take short walks around the block during the workday, but I end up in a limp by the time I get back to the office.  It's been a tough past few weeks, and even when I have my knee scoped and my IT band elongated, I am going to be in for a long recovery.

I do not think there is a withdrawal that is much worse from the high one gets from exercise.  Whether it's a "runner's high" or an endorphin rush from some other physical activity, going from a rigorous training program to doing absolutely nothing is not the greatest feeling.  I am on edge and not able to think as clearly as I normally can.

If you have any type of disorder that causes fatigue, I cannot emphasize enough how much exercise can help one naturally battle fatigue that stems from the stress of daily living.  Exercise combined with living a balanced lifestyle is just so conducive to feeling healthy, even if you're not a generally healthy person.  I've tried numerous vitamins/supplements, extra sleep, avoiding alcohol and drinking water.  None of this seems to help.

I think it all boils down to one thing:

Living a balanced life - with or without exercise.

HA.  I can talk the talk, but can I walk the walk?  It's been years since I've felt I've had a good handle on life.  Of course, I have gone though a number of drastic life and lifestyle changes - including brain surgery, marriage, weight gain, injury, medication changes, plus working full time in front of a computer screen.  Having a desk job for several years now has been psychologically stressful, but it's a job that is conducive to my well-being as a dystonia sufferer.

Okay, so the first step is identifying some stressors:

1. Work
2. Family 
3. Friends
4. Housework
5. Managing Finances
6. Doctor's appointments

Now, we identify WHY are the above stressing me?

1. Work - who likes work?  It's 8+ hours of a day where I could be doing something fun/relaxing.
2. Family - Having a big family is great, but good lord.  We're being pulled in all sorts of directions.
3. Friends - This is where I just feel guilty.  With the family thing and work, I can't fit in time for friends.
4. Housework - res ipsa loquitor.  (Google it.)
5. Managing Finances - Slacking on this one.  With a shoddy economy, I have very few investments.  Banking/mattress stuffing is safe.  In a couple of weeks, I will be losing a substantial amount of money per paycheck due to the sequester.  Yes, I've been furloughed. 
6. Doctor's appointments - Time and money.  Lately, there hasn't been much good news for me on this end either... so that sort of speaks for itself. Oh yes, and of course, sedative medications.

Finally -- what can I do?

• If you're not fighting a disability, the above won't seem like anything out of the ordinary.  But if you have a neurological disorder, such stressors can seem overwhelming and potentially catastrophic.  I need to organize and prioritize everything above.  What can give?  What's a priority? What am I blowing out of proportion?  I need to answer all of these questions and I need a game plan.  I need a life with balance in it.  It's up to me to figure this all out, and over the course of the next few weeks I will have to do this.  The answers aren't going to be black and white, and it's not going to be easy, but it has to be done.

A Dystonia Awareness Week Thank You Message!

Happy Dystonia Awareness Week 2013 - Nicole Oliver