On Being a Hypochondriac...

I am a hypochondriac and a control freak.  When things don't go as planned, the world stops and so do I.  It's not a healthy or rational way to live, since things don't go as planned in life for anyone.  People face adversities and move on.  One would think that after what I've been through with dystonia I would be a stronger, more laid back person who is simply happy to be alive.  Instead, I've developed general fear and anxiety issues that are completely ridiculous.

I am going back to the dermatologist on Friday to have the rest of the dysplastic mole removed from the bottom/side of my right foot.  I know it will hurt and I can deal with pain.  What scares me more are the other three moles that the doctor did not biopsy.  Are they cancerous?  Are they precancerous?  Are they just moles? What if any of them are melanoma?  Only a biopsy can tell.  And being the hypochondriac that I am, I've been on the internet nonstop trying to determine what will happen on Friday.  In my irrational line of thinking, I already have it in my mind that two of my toes are going to need to be amputated.  

Okay, let's take a step back.  Possible?  Sure.  Probable?  Absolutely not!  If my dermatologist were that concerned he would have done a biopsy on those moles a week and a half ago.  Even in this "rational" line of thinking, I am still terrified and am finding myself on Google in search of answers.   That really needs to stop.

So many wonderful things have happened over the past couple of years. Marrying a great guy.  Making new friends and maintaining old friendships.  Coaching three seasons of Girls on the Run.  Even this past weekend, hanging out with two fantastic people who want to see me succeed as a marathon runner was simply awesome.  Regardless of what life throws at me (good or bad) I need to learn to chill... I have it pretty darn good!

"Life has a funny way of helping you out." ~Alanis Morissette