Ash Wednesday and Winter Blues

Today marks the beginning of Lent.  A time for reflection and transformation inside.  I haven't given anything up for Lent, but there's a lot I need to do to change for the better.  Lent isn't about giving something up or doing something differently for 40 days and then getting back into your old routine.  It's about taking 40 days to do something that will ultimately make you a better person.

I'm a hard-headed, stubborn person.  I'm exceptional judgemental, critical and a complete control freak.  I have been asking myself lately - how would I feel if I had to deal with someone like me?  I can only imagine how aggravating it would be.  Even if I don't outwardly say anything when I disagree with someone, my body language speaks for itself. 

I need to change the way I think and feel.  I need to change the way I act.  Simply put - I need to treat others the way I would like to be treated.  If I feel I have been treated badly, I also need to just let it go instead of letting all the anger build up in me. *Breathes*  There are so may ways to do this, but I need to learn to recognize the situations when I'm in them.

I'm a control freak.  This weather has been depressing between the snow, the cold and my marathon training setback(s).  The surgery.  My knee.  The shoe problem.  Backing out of coaching to marathon train instead.  It's kind of depressing.  I wish I had become a teacher.  I really enjoy working with adolescent kids.  I never knew I would be good at it... but it becomes so much with working full time.  Oh the fun things I'd do if I were a stay-at-home wife. 

I went to the Brooks Running website to order a pair of the Launch before they were sold out.  My size was gone!  I frantically searched the Internet and found a store in Grand Rapids, MI that had my size in stock.  I quickly ordered them. I am eager for them to arrive.  My old pair has a lot of miles on them and I'll need to start rotating them.  I tried to go back to the Adrenaline but they are just NOT the right shoes for me.  Between last Saturday and Sunday I ran 17 miles in them and the pain was unreal.  By Tuesday, I could not run in them.  So, agaist my doctor's advice, I am using the Launch for my training and the race.

I was absolutely beat tonight.  Nate forced me to bike.  I was operating on fumes but I did it.  Thursday and Friday will be running days.  It's supposed to snow again.  I'm so tired of the snow.  I love outdoor runs.  But for now I will working on changing in other ways...