A run that saved my weekend

This past weekend was not so good in terms of my health.  Most of Saturday was spent lying on the couch, bed or floor. Or just sleeping... and crying.  This is never what I wanted with my life, but no one ever asks for a chronic illness. 

On Saturday I kind of looked like a sick dog in its final days, walking in circles.  The muscles in the right side of my neck cranked my head so viciously to the side that standing upright and walking was just too much effort.  While Nate went out to grab a sandwich for lunch, I called my mom.  "I don't know what to do... it's too much..."  We discussed disability.  I know as a Fed there are retirement options available once I hit 5 years, but I'm not quite at that point, and I'd feel like a failure as a productive person in society.  Sticking it out as long as I can, trying the best that I can is all I can do.

Saturday night I took Artane, a very strong Parkinson's disease medication.  It helped me sleep, but sure enough, the rigidity in my neck came back early Sunday afternoon.  I just wallowed in self-pity and complained to my husband, "I don't want to live like this."  I didn't get the laundry done.  I didn't get my Easter decorations out.  I had to send Nate out for the grocery shopping.  Failure as a wife, a friend, a daughter, an employee... and as much as I tried to snap out of it, I just couldn't.

Nate asked me before he went shopping, "Is there ANYTHING I can do to make you feel better?"  Then something inside me... this warm feeling flooded my body as I came up with a fantastic idea.  "Nate, will you bike alongside me while I run?  We can run the UB bike path!"  (Nate says I am not allowed to run this alone, as there are wooded areas and a lot of bad people out there.  It's where the infamous bike bath rapist preyed upon some of his victims.)

When Nate got home, I had never been so happy to help put groceries away!  I threw my running clothes on, and Nate got his bike out, filling the tires with air.  We made our way to the bikepath, and somewhere around 4 miles, made a wrong turn off of the path.  Oops!  But I just felt so great, trotting along with my husband riding next to me. 

"Nicole, I think we need to turn around."

"I don't turn around!"

We made it to the University at Buffalo campus and I told him we'd circle the campus, and make our way back onto the bike path, which would lead us back home.  So, we strayed from the plan, but in the end, I got a nice 7 mile run out of it.  Even better, Nate said had a really nice time biking next to me.  He said he just couldn't believe I could run that distance.  I just said to him, "It's really not a big deal... it's just running!"

The rest of the evening I felt better.  No, my symptoms did not go away, but the endorphins flowing through my body outweighed any negative feelings I had been experiencing as a result of my disease.  I was happy.

A famous quote came to my mind during that run. It pertains not just to running and getting lost, but to life:

Endomondo Running Workout: was out running 7.01 miles in 58m:55s using Endomondo.

We've Got a Team!

Girls on Track is going to happen at Mill Middle!  We've lost a few girls, but gained two new members to our roster.  We have a team of 9.

Our first practice will take place next Wednesday.  I am extremely nervous.   I'm the type of girl who you'd want to captain a team, not coach it.  But I really try.

I'm also completely Type-A.  I don't demand perfection from the girls, but need to make sure I do everything in my power so the girls get the most our of the program.  I would type up cheat sheets to abbreviate the lessons and draw diagrams to make the set-ups "perfect."  I know my obsession with perfection in everything I am passionate about makes it difficult for me to work with, but I don't know how to change myself.  If only I could channel myself that way in my "career."

Reading through the first lesson, it looks like the Girls on Track curriculum is a lot different from the GotR one.  Our Program Directors advised us to do GotR for middle school in the fall, stating that it wasn't too babyish for Middle Schoolers.  After going through that curriculum, most of it didn't seem bad at all.  In fact, I think I like a lot of it better than "Girls on Track."  Even the single 8th grader on the team was really into it.

One thing I also noticed is that we don't pick positive names for ourselves on day one with GOT.  Instead, we all have to come up with a noise or gesture (or both) that people will remember us by.  I can't for the life of me come up with anything for myself.  Coach Michele has to miss the first day (she'll be out of the country), and I wish I had her input.  We have a fill-in to assist me, and she is awesome, but I may need to make a judgment call about whether the sound/motion activity in lieu of the positive names is going to turn girls off to the GoT.  Maybe we could do both.

On the other hand, the girls NEVER failed to amaze me last season.  They may TOTALLY go for lesson one and LOVE making sounds and motions to remember them by.  I dunno, when I was 11 or 12 years old, I really would have totally been turned off by this.  I probably would have folded my arms, frowned and growled... but hey, I was always serious, even as a kid.

More good news is that my boss is letting me take last minute Annual Leave in case I oversleep.  I have a flex schedule and while I could pull off getting to work a 6 and leaving at 2:30 in the fall, I need to sleep off one of my new medications in order to be able to drive in safely.  I love the perks of my job.

Well... looking forward to a great season! :-)

St. Patrick's Day Weekend & Why Everyone Should Run With a Cell Phone

Novak-Oliver St. Patrick's Day Fun!

Front and center, sporting my Checkers AC jacket at The Irishman.

Left to right: Emily, Dad, Nicole, Nate, Mom

So, I had a long weekend.  Not as in the neverending weekend, but I took two hours off from work to see my neurologist Thursday afternoon.  It was time for a round of Botox injections in my neck and back, a routine I've become acclimated to over the past several years.  Then I took 8 hours of leave on Friday to do some "spring cleaning."  That ended up being a "holy-crap-get-the -house-clean." day.  We impulsively decided to have a friend in town from Long Island over Friday evening, and to top it off, Nate had to work an 11 hour day.  Friday was beautiful, warm and sunny, so it was tough to keep focused on cleaning.  In the end, we had a lovely evening filled with conversation over a fish fry dinner.

Saturday, the obvious was going to occur.  Nate and I were invited over to my parent's house for a corned beef and cabbage dinner.  Yum!  We also scrambled to get a one month late belated birthday gift for my little sister who was home from college. It had to be thoughtful and meaningful.  Then it hit me while we were at the mall.  I'd made her a charm bracelet.  It turned out really cool and I must say as a last minute gift I was VERY proud of myself.  Nate got her a case of Guinness.  So, we arrived for the Irish dinner bearing gifts to celebrate a life of 21 years and 30 days!  She appreciated it all.  I was so nervous about the bracelet, and didn't know if she'd even like Guinness, but  clinging to the box of Guinness, Emily sternly told my dad that she wasn't sharing her birthday gift.  Clueless, my dad assumed she was talking about the bracelet...  was all had a laugh over that...

One thing I wasn't going to do was arrive for dinner on St. Patrick's day without getting a run in first!  Can you believe it was in the 70s and sunny?  I was disappointed in my pace for my 8.5 mile run.  I did the route that goes through the neighborhoods I'd lived in.  Around mile 6, my legs not holding up so well, I ran down the street where I'd heard the girls I coached yelling out to me last week.  One of them was out passing a football around with some boys.  She waved to me, and at a slower pace I recognized her this time - one of the girls who is not returning this spring.   I didn't stop, but made a point of waving back and saying hi to her by name.  The girl could run like the wind.  She wasn't the first to finish the 5k this past fall for Mill, but I remember telling her in confidence that she reminded me of my co-captain of my high school cross country team, and that if she worked a bit on her pacing she was going to be a great distance runner.  I remember her response, "but I like sprinting." In GOTR, all of that is cool as long as you're moving forward.  So, what can you do but respond, "well... sprinting... that's great." 

So, my St. Patrick's Day run is here:

Endomondo Running Workout: was out running 8.50 miles in 1h:14m:22s using Endomondo

After the dinner and belated birthday gifts, the family headed up to The Irishman where I downed my second Guinness of the evening.  A Sabres game was being broadcast in the bar during the partying, so it was a bit chaotic as some of us were trying to look in as the game ended in a shoot-out.  Buffalo losing to the Florida Panthers.  Not really being a party-people, Nate and I headed out as soon as this little girl finished her second beer of the night.  Being the lightweight that I am, two is more than enough for me.

Today I learned the importance of running with a cell phone.  I'm not sure if it was because of the evening at the Irishman, or just overdoing it, or what, but I burned out a little over 6 miles into my run.  My legs just wouldn't move.  I was near my parent's house but was kind of embarrassed.  Knowing Nate would worry if it got to be much over an hour, I pulled out my cell phone from a tiny pouch I bought from a running shop.  I called and asked him, "Natey, I burned out... I have nothing left... can you pick me up?"  He asked where I was and picked me up not far from my old house.  I had not had anything like that happen to me in years.  I didn't even make it 7 miles and my legs just would not move.  "C'mon, let's stop and get you some Gatorade."  I turned my Garmin off and he drove me to 7-11... chugging that Gatorade never felt so good!  My parents used to get on my case about not running with a cell phone when I was in my early 20s... now I know how handy it can be.  A thoughtful husband isn't a bad deal either!  :-)

Endomondo Running Workout: was out running 6.81 miles in 1h:03m:45s using Endomondo.

Well, back to work tomorrow.  The roads defeated me today but I gave it my all... and it was the best I could do... and that's okay. :-)       

GOTR Returning Coaches Meeting

Tonight was our returning coaches meeting for GOTR. I picked up our bin for Mill Middle and our "Girls on Track" books. My Nate drove me since I have driving anxiety. I felt kind of bad that he was the lone dude in a room filled with women. He said he didn't feel awkward though - he was used to it from being an Elementary Education major. Michele had stay home and off of her feet - she likely has a stress fracture in her foot, with a marathon only 2 weeks away. Guess things aren't looking so good in terms of running in it. After months of training, that has to be a bummer.

It was interesting to see the statistics from the surveyed schools in Buffalo. Apparently we did better than the national average. The girls who took part in GOTR this past fall in Buffalo had a substantially better self-image and better outlook on life and the way they felt about themselves. It was great knowing I was able to be a part of this :-)

I really hoped that the program directors would have good news for us in terms of registration, but as of today, we officially have only 5 girls signed up. Michele has not registered her daughter (so really 6 girls). Apparently a mother saw an advertisement at Erie Community College and called to inquire about GOTR, asking if it was at Mill Middle. So, that's potentially 7 girls?

We technically have until March 30th, so I'm trying to keep the faith. A couple of girls from the fall are definitely out... which is a bummer, but that's how it goes. I know GOTR is not just about running, but the one girl who is not returning has so much potential and I see her being a stellar athlete and distance runner... it makes me wonder if I did something wrong. I dunno, maybe it's just not her cup of tea or she plays another sport. Or there's a conflict. *think positive thoughts, Nicole*

I have been looking forward to Girls on Track all winter. I mean, I've been SUPER excited, thinking about all of the cool activities we can do... or how we can shake up some of the activities just a little bit to make them a little more "real." Honestly, middle schoolers these days are into things worse than smoking, for example. Shoplifting, hardcore drugs, breaking into parents liquor cabinets, going to high school parties. There's some bad stuff out there and I am so excited to help girls understand that there's so much more to life than all that.

I've also been doing Google searches for my favorite running quotes. I mean, sticking the quotes on 3x5 cards and sifting them in with their positive word cards. The surprise running quotes threw the girls for a loop last fall and I could tell they loved it -- some of the girls reading them off as their favorite cards they received as they ran their laps.

I've also been thinking of a new name... Nutty Nicole doesn't seem to fit me...

Well, Nate sent a bunch of Facebook friends who might know people a link to the GOTR Buffalo site, and asked them to pass it along to anyone who might be interested. Still keeping the faith with only a couple of weeks to go...

Running Down Memory Lane & into the Future

On Friday I sprained my ankle while racing 5 blocks to get to work.  I actually turned my ankle out, which lead me to believe I had a high ankle sprain.  I didn't hurt badly, but I knew from my years of playing soccer that if there was any ligament damage, I'd be in for a long recovery. 

Glucosamine. Iburofen.  Stretching.  Seemed ok today...

March is so unpredictable in Buffalo, NY.   It was snowing last week, but today was a beautiful, sunny (though windy), warm day.   Around 3:30 this afternoon I thought, "what the heck", strapped on my Garmin, and headed out for a run.  I had a route planed out in my head... a route I love because the roads traveled cover my early childhood in the neighborhood I lived in for the first decade of my life and wrap around to my parents current house where we moved to when I was in 6th grade. The start and finish is my current home... right in between the two neighborhoods, where my husband and I live. Approximately an 8 mile run filled with memories from the past.

I smile and wave to the people in that neighborhood from the first decade of my life, though I do not know who they are anymore.  The streets are the same, some of the houses look a bit different (especially the one I grew up in) and many of the people I knew are no longer there either, but I cannot help but feel like that 9-year-old fearless kid, the shy tomboy who loved hockey and getting dirty... excited that I would now be able to stay out later and play with friends since the time change would provide an extra hour of sunlight.

After I finished the winding roads of my earliest memories, I bolted onto a main road that would take me 4 miles away from that little neighborhood... to the neighborhood where I would attend middle school, high school, and continue to live in through college and a few years thereafter.  It's a little more upscale than the little neighborhood a grew up in, but it holds a special place in my heart.  So  many memories of joy and heartbreak as an adolescent, a teenager, and even an adult flooded my mind as I ran those roads today. 

The latter was the neighborhood where I took up running, got on the school bus, and had my heart broken more times than one.  It was the neighborhood where my dreams of law enforcement fell apart when I was diagnosed with dystonia, where I struggled to finish up college, and where I learned that I would not be defeated by my disease.  It was the house where my angel would pick my up for dates... where I eventually learned that the quote "no guy is worth your tears, and the one who is won't break your heart" was so very true.

As I ran through the neighborhood of my teenage years and where I'd enter into adulthood (though I am still a child at heart), I was about 6 miles into my run when I heard two voices call out to me, "Coach Nicole!  Coach Nicole!"  Not wearing my glasses, I couldn't see exactly who they were, but I turned around, waving and responding, "Hey!!  How's it going???" and I continued on my way.  I felt a surge of energy go through my body after the girls recognized me as their assistant Girls on the Run coach this past fall. I wondered if they'd be joining us again in the spring for Girls on Track.  I suddenly felt like, "hey, I made an impression... on these girls!"

I got to thinking about the spring.  Since Williamsville will not allow us to advertise on school grounds, I began to worry about how Girls on Track will pan out this spring... and what about next year?  Apparently we only have 6 girls registered at the Middle School.  There's still time left, and parents tend to procrastinate, but the group of 12 girls in the fall was such a huge success that the mere thought that we might need to cancel is extremely disappointing.  It'll work out... I hope... and if it doesn't, there's always the fall... the Williamsville Central School District will not scare me or stop me from believing in this program...  I know we'll have our full team... keepin' the faith...

Endomondo Running Workout: was out running 8.45 miles in 1h:09m:53s using Endomondo.